I'll always be there for you
by tivaandmcabby
Summary: When Ziva is hurting about Franks' death and Ray, Tony is there to comfort her. Will the consequences lead to problems in their relationship? Rated T to be safe. TIVA and slight McABBY. The last chapter is now up!
1. Trust me Ziva

**Hi guys!**

**This is my first fanfic ever, so please read. This day also holds a special place in my heart since it is my 1 year anniversary of watching NCIS! I would really appreciate reviews and suggestions. Tell me what you like and what you don't! All feedback is appreciated :D **

**Just want to say that I (sadly) own none of the characters – not even Tony **** That is all owned by CBS – lucky them!**

The rain was getting harder day by day, hour by hour. For 3 whole days the constant hammer of the raindrops was heard on the sky light of the NCIS headquarters. It was giving her a headache. That, among other things. She was trying to concentrate on the heated discussion in the bullpen – McGee talking computer stuff, Tony adding in his own unneeded comments, Gibbs saying the occasional word or two. But it was hard, especially when she felt like her head was about to explode. So, instead of working on the case and making contributions to the discussion, she unintentionally drifted into her own world of thoughts.

It had only been about 3 weeks since Franks' funeral – 23 days actually. Probationary agent Ziva David was counting. She hadn't gone. She couldn't. Ziva had wanted so much to go, to pay her respects. It was her duty and she knew that. However, on the morning of the funeral with her clothes all laid out crisp and clean on her iron board, Ziva had chosen an alternative. She, ex-Mossad assassin and daughter to the Director of Mossad could not bring herself to see Franks' funeral. Granted her and Franks' were never really close – but for Ziva this was a loss of another person in her surrogate family. Jenny had been the first of this family to go, but Ziva had managed to convince herself then that such things would happen in her life and she had to move on. But with Franks, it all became too much.

"Ziva, take DiNozzo. Go check out that warehouse." Gibbs in his usual to-the-point tone began barking orders at them.

Immediately Ziva snapped out of her thoughts, and although tried to hide her emotions behind her mask, they did not go unnoticed by her boss **and** her "senior field agent" (as he liked to often brag).

Trying to keep the situation calm and making a mental note to talk to her later, Tony tried to change the subject.

"Boss, shouldn't it be DiNozzo take Ziva. I mean not to brag or anything, but I am the Senior Field Agent…."

Tony's feeble attempt to divert the conversation was immediately interrupted by Gibbs steel eyed stare.

"Shutting up boss" DiNozzo said as he began taking out his weapon, badge and I.D. noticing that Ziva was also mirroring his actions.

The two walked briskly into the elevator. The elevator dinged. The doors opened. Tony and Ziva got in. The doors shut.

"_It's now or never" _Tonysaid to himself.

So when Tony was sure the steel doors had shut completely and the buzz of the elevator descending could be heard, he flipped the emergency switch.

They were impaled with darkness, and the only way in which Tony could see Ziva's expressions was from the back-up lights under the railings. Ziva's expression didn't change. She knew this had been coming, but right now she wasn't prepared to listen to Tony's pep talk.

"You okay?" Tony asked with a genuine voice of concern, turning to face her. She however, kept her gaze on the shiny steel door, avoiding eye contact.

"I am fine, Tony" she replied letting out a breath she didn't even know she had been holding.

"You don't look fine." He stated the obvious.

Now she was beginning to lose it. Yes she understood Tony was trying to help her. Yes she knew he only meant good. But right now, all she wanted to do was get this trip to the warehouse over and done with so she could go home for the night.

She turned to face him, her mask still on, and making eye contact she said, "And why does that concern you?"

It stung. Of course it stung him. Tony was trying to help her. He knew why she was still distracted, and all he wanted was for her to open up to him – to trust him.

"It concerns me, because Ziva, I am your partner. I have had your back for 6 years now, and I will always have your back. And if something is wrong…. I just want to help you Ziva."

Her heart melted at his sincerity, and in that moment, all her anger vanished. This was the caring side of Tony, which nobody else in the team saw. She felt special when he spoke to her like that. Like Abby had said, Tony was all goofy on the outside but 100% rock on the inside.

She could feel the tears beginning to burn the back of her eyes – no matter how hard she tried to keep her personal issues personal from Tony, it never worked. He always managed to find a way to find out.

"It is stupid Tony." She tried to find a way to not tell him.

"Is it about Ray, because I swear, if he has done anything to….."

"No." She interrupted. "It is about….." She didn't know how to explain it to him. Right now, it was all a big knot inside her. Even she didn't quite fully understand what had got her so upset.

"Franks?" One word and Tony had nailed it.

She gave Tony a sad smile, telling him that his guess was correct. "You hammered it".

No matter how hard he tried, he could not stop himself. "Nailed it, Ziva. Not hammered" he corrected.

"Same difference" she mumbled under her breath. The tears reached the surface of her eyes, and although Ziva tried her best to be strong and hold them back, just one small tear managed to escape. It fell down her cheek.

Instinctively, Tony raised his finger to brush away the tear and he gave her a consoling look. It said it all.

"I know Ziva. I know what it's like to not have family around you. And I know Franks was part of your family – we all are. Things like this happen for a reason Ziva, but trust me when I say everything will be alright."

"You've still got me sweetcheeks" he added with his large DiNozzo grin.

Ziva let out a small laugh. Tony would always be Tony. She leaned forward with a happy smile on her face, realising that she still had family, who really cared about her. Tony was right, things like this were bound to happen in their chosen career, but everything would be alright. She leaned forward, and kissed him on his cheek, instantly sending a shiver down both their spines.

Tony froze. The only time she had done this was in the men's room after Ziva came back from Somalia. It felt nice to have Ziva trust him. He had managed to show her that he was there to listen if she wanted to talk.

The kiss was short - a token of appreciation from Ziva. She stood back and Tony reached out behind her to flip the elevator back on.

The elevator dinged, and the doors opened. Together, they walked to their cars and from there, they drove to the warehouse. Tony had got her to open up to him, and he knew she felt better now. Being DiNozzo, he decided he wanted to know more, so he did something which Ziva hesitantly agreed to. Baby steps at a time, he would show Ziva that she could trust him completely.

**Thanks for reading guys! Being the first chapter, it was meant to be introductory, so I promise you it will get better :D Tell me how it was please :D Just hit that review button xx I love you all for reading it! I am so excited to see your feedback and comments xx **


	2. Songs on the radio

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I can't believe I have 5 reviews! This is so exciting :D It was lovely to check the reviews every day and see that 1 more person has reviewed! So, chapter 2 is up now, and I really hope you like it :D I tried my hardest with it :D Enjoy!**

"Movie night?" Ziva questioned hesitantly. She stopped typing the report on her computer when she heard Tony's offer.

"Oh come on Ziva. I just rented this really good film, and you could watch it with me?" Tony tried his best to persuade her.

"Um, thank you Tony. But I…. wanted to finish this book I am reading." In all honesty, Ziva didn't mind spending time with Tony watching a movie. But she was really tired, and would rather just go home to a warm bath and a good night's sleep.

"I am a trained investigator Ze-vah. I can tell when you are making up excuses. Come on, it will be fun, I promise. And besides, it's a horror film – you'll like it" He grinned.

He just wanted to spend time with her. He missed their movie nights – staying up till 3 in the morning, watching film after film. Waking up in the morning with that stabbing pain in his back because they fell asleep on the couch while talking. Most of all, he missed having Ziva close to him. He remembered that when Gibbs had retired and left to Mexico, they spent almost every night together. Yes, it was border lining the infamous Rule #12, but Gibbs was gone then, and technically, they weren't dating.

Ziva did not have the energy to argue with Tony right now. So, she decided to accept the offer, but on her terms. "Ok Tony. I will do movie night with you tonight. **But **it will be on my conditions."

Tony sighed.

"Firstly," Ziva began, "Movie night will be at my house. Secondly, we will order takeaway – I feel like eating Chinese today. And thirdly, we will watch 1 film only." She dictated, emphasising the **only**.

"All fine with me" Tony smiled. "I'm telling you, you'll really like this film."

"We'll see" Ziva smirked.

"I am invited too, right DiNozzo?" Gibbs interrupted their conversation in the Bullpen, walking briskly to his desk carrying his large cup of coffee. He switched on the lamp at his desk as it was beginning to get dark.

Embarrassed, Tony replied, "Of course Boss. But I don't think you'll like this one, it's a horror film."

"_Boss? At movie night? Help me God!" _Tony prayed

"Ah, just my favourite DiNozzo. Make sure there's popcorn." Gibbs added sarcastically. Ziva let out a small laugh from her desk.

Deciding it was time to get serious, Gibbs put on his serious mask and authoritatively demanded, "Background on Lance Corporal Jones."

For the next ten minutes, the team gave Gibbs their research (mainly McGee talking about Jones' computer and phone) and at quarter past eight, Gibbs gave them the, "That's all for today. Go home, get some rest."

Tony and Ziva walked together to the car park, and Ziva drove them to the takeaway shop. The conversation in the car was fairly light, just two co-workers talking about the case. During their journey back home, Ricky Martins' famous _'livin' la vida loca'_ song came on the radio. Instinctively, like he was in his own car, Tony turned up the volume and began singing the lyrics. Soon Ziva joined in too.

**Upside, inside out she's livin la vida loca  
>She'll push and pull you down, livin la vida loca<br>Her lips are devil red and her skin's the color mocha  
>She will wear you out livin la vida loca Come On!<br>Livin la vida loca, Come on!  
>She's livin la vida loca.<strong>

At the end of the song both started laughing, out of breath from singing the song at the top of their voices. Tony admired Ziva's laugh, and he was proud that he had completely changed her mood from just a conversation in the elevator. He loved to see her laugh – her face began to glow and her eyes just had this sparkle in them.

Soon, they reached the Chinese restaurant and placed their takeaway orders.

"Um, I'll have number 41 please," Ziva told the rather handsome waiter. She put on her biggest smile, and so did the waiter. Her eyes were all fluttery and her face was radiant, just like a teenage girl talking to her crush.

Interrupting, their mute conversation, Tony added, "Can I have number 72 please?"

The waiter took their order and went, not before smiling at Ziva again. Both co-workers sat down on the sofa, waiting for their food to come.

"You are dangerous, Agent David. Sneaky," Tony joked.

"Dangerous how," Ziva questioned, knowing he was talking about her flirting skills.

"Deciding how to trap him, I see," Tony continued.

"Was there a him in the painting?" Ziva asked, pretending to be innocent.

"Picture Ziva. Was there a him in the picture," Tony laughed. "Don't act all innocent. I saw you enticing him with your eyes."

"Well Tony," Ziva said seductively, "Everyone deserves to have a little fun."

"Won't your Ray of Sunshine be a little jealous," Tony began to fish, but he only meant it as a joke.

It was a bad idea. Immediately, Ziva stiffened, and broke their eye contact. Her mask fell for just a second, and then it was back on again. But Tony didn't miss the change in her expressions, and that sparkle that had been there in her eye a second ago was gone.

"Ziva, I…" Tony began to apologize.

"The food is here," Ziva stated, still not making eye contact with him.

"Yeah," Tony mumbled. _"Great DiNozzo, you see what you do? First you get her to trust you, and then you just screw it up, don't you. Smooth"_

To say Tony was angry at himself would be an understatement. He was furious. How could he even joke about Ray when he knew Ziva was upset? How could he be such an idiot? Before they had caught the port-to-port killer, Ziva had temporarily broken up with Ray, and then, when she had been kidnapped and they found her in that barn, Ray had helped her up, and the way she looked at him, Tony knew they would get back together. He was a bit hurt, when Ziva had not even looked at him in that barn – he was so worried for her and all she did was acknowledge Ray's presence. Wait, why was he hurt? Ray was the man she loved, and he was just her co-worker. Her actions were justified. He knew Ziva was back together with Ray, but he also knew that everything wasn't alright between them now.

While he was sitting on the sofa thinking, Ziva had gone to the counter, paid for the food, and brought it back.

"Tony, don't worry about it. What happened is not your fault." She said, standing beside him holding the takeaway boxes.

"**What** happened, Ziva?" Tony asked. He hoped she would share with him, but the look in her eyes told him she didn't want to talk – at least not now.

"Forget I asked Ziva," he said. "Let's just get to your place before the food goes cold," he smiled. If she didn't want to open up to him just know, that was fine. As long as she was happy.

"It smells delicious Tony," Ziva said as they walked back to her car. She too was trying to change the mood of the conversation. She knew that if she remained upset or distracted, Tony would blame himself for something which was definitely not his fault.

So they drove the rest of the 5 minute journey to Ziva's house listening to the radio and singing along, both in a happy mood.

They reached her apartment soon after and walked into the quite lobby. They took the elevator up, still singing _'Single ladies' _from the radio and carried on singing as they walked down her corridor towards her door. They were laughing and singing at the same time, both thoroughly enjoying themselves.

"Ziva," the male voice interrupted them. They had been too busy singing to see him leaning against the door. Standing at Ziva's doorstep was the man who she least wanted to see. 

**Ooh, who could it be? Well, actually, you've probably guessed, it's not that hard! If you are reading this it means you have read the whole chapter, so thanks so much for reading :D I would really appreciate more reviews and please tell me what you like/don't like (hopefully there won't be many don't likes (fingers crossed)) I will start writing chapter 3 tomorrow, so hopefully will be able to update be Sunday :D Hope you liked it and your reviews really make my day, so please please hit that button!**


	3. Empty promises

**Hi guys,**

**So this is the next chapter! I tried to get this to you asap (for the people who requested) and I really hope you like it. Thanks so much to all my reviewers :D It really makes my day to see all those review, author and story alerts in my inbox :D Hope you like it xx**

**Oh btw, I recently watched jet lag! One of my favourites! Tony and Ziva are so meant to be! **

"_Ziva," the male voice interrupted them. They had been too busy singing to see him leaning against the door. Standing at Ziva's doorstep was the man who she least wanted to see. _

Ziva stopped dead in her tracks, while Tony looked to see her expressions. The colour had drained from her face, and she was not making eye contact with him.

"Ray" she acknowledged, not even looking at him.

"Ziva, we need to talk," Ray pleaded, but still with a tone of authority in his voice. He looked at her with eyes which begged her to spare a few minutes for him.

Tony, who immediately felt out of place and as if he was intruding, spoke softly to Ziva, "Um Ziva, we can always do movie night some other night. I'll… um…..see you tomorrow. Um….Goodnight."

If it were different, Tony, being Tony would have loved to stay and eavesdrop. But under this circumstance, it just felt rude. Ziva probably wanted to straighten things out with Ray, and it wasn't right for him to stay.

Before her could leave, Ziva placed her hand on his arm. "No Tony. I promised you we would do movie night tonight and we will. Just give us ten minutes please."

She smiled at him with a _I'll be okay_ smile and Tony smiled back at her. He walked back towards the elevator and down to the lobby to wait.

Ziva walked past Ray, into her apartment. He followed her, shutting the door behind him. She placed the food bags on the counter and took off her coat and scarf, hanging them up on the peg next to the door.

"You wanted to talk. Talk" she said bluntly to Ray, standing in her living room. Of course she was angry. It had been over a month since she had seen him, and she didn't even know where he was or what he was doing. She was fed up. Fed up of getting the same answer from him every time – "I can't tell you".

"Ziva, is everything alright between us? Because, I have called you several times, and you haven't picked up. I emailed you, and you didn't reply. Ziva, please tell me what I've done," Ray pleaded. Ziva was the woman he loved – he just hadn't told her yet. It had been bugging him for weeks, why she was avoiding him.

"What you have done?" she was furious. "How can you not know Ray?"

Silence. She tried to calm herself down.

"This isn't working Ray. I can't do this anymore." She stated flatly.

Now Ray was surprised. Why couldn't she just tell him straight forward what was wrong. He really had no idea!

"Do what Ziva? Of course this is working. What's wrong? Please tell me."

"Ray, you are gone for months at a time. I do not even know where you go. You say that I cannot contact you, that you will contact me. I do not know when you will come back. I do not even know where you are."

She wanted to make him understand. Her intention was not to be rude to him, but to explain to him that it would be better if they just ended it. She could not deny the fact that she loved him. But, Ray was not the person she had pictured him to be. He was different from when she had first met him. He was a man who spent all his time with his work. How could she trust him if she knew he was hiding details from her about his life – like where he was or what he was doing.

Ray was silent. Why couldn't she look over that? Why must she know everything about him? He tried his last option to save their relationship.

"Ziva, I know it's hard for you to trust me, if I don't tell you that stuff. But Ziva, I really love you." He looked into her eyes with a sincere gaze, and Ziva could not help but look into his eyes too. She did see love, but she also knew what she wanted.

"Ray, I know. But….I just do not think it could work out in the long run. I want a permanent relationship, and I do not think what we have will be permanent. I think it is better for both of us to separate." She was speaking from the heart. She thought this would be the best for both of them. At first, she thought Ray would be permanent, but later, she was proved wrong.

The ring box. It still lay mocking her in her bedside table. Empty. Like the day she had received it from him. For her, it wasn't a sign that things with Ray would become permanent, but an empty promise – that things would **never** become permanent.

"Ziva, please. Trust me. I will make it work," Ray was making the situation difficult, but he really loved her. What was he meant to do?

"Ray, please don't make the situation more difficult." Why couldn't he just understand?

Protecting his dignity, Ray defended himself, "Ok Ziva. I see what's going on here. But I can't believe you are making up excuses instead of telling me the truth! I should have never believed you when you said he was like a brother to you."

_He had the nerve to answer back? _she thought. What the hell was he talking about? She just gave him a blank look.

"Don't act all innocent Ziva. I can tell by the way you look at him. You just used me until things worked out with DiNozzo."

"Tony?" Even Ziva was surprised. What was he saying?

"Look here Ray. I did not use you. And why do you think I like Tony? We. Are. Just. Co-workers. And friends. Nothing more."

"Yeah right," he scoffed.

Now she really lost it.

"I can't believe I ever loved you Ray. Did **you** ever trust me? I cannot believe you are jealous - of Tony. Who is my friend. At least he trusts me. And you, being my boyfriend can't do that."

"Yeah I can't Ziva. You spend all your time with him, or talking about him. Ever realised how it makes me feel?"

"Well maybe Ray, if you looked over your jealousy, you would see that Tony is a nice person." She shouted back.

"You're defending him. Over me? What is wrong with you?" He snapped.

"Get. Out. Get out of here Ray. And if you have any decency left in you, don't ever think of showing your face here again." She bit back the tears which were forming in the back of her eyes. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

Ray didn't move. He just stared at her, astonished that she had actually told him to leave.

"Get out," Ziva shouted, louder than was necessary. He turned, opened the door, and left.

The thud of the door echoed in her ears. She was alone. Again.

**So that's it for now :D I will update ASAP (it will take around 3 days). Please please review, so I know what I have to improve, and what you like :D your feedback is really important to me xx**


	4. Bye Bye Ray!

**This is the next chapter guys! I really hope you enjoy it – I tried my hardest with it :D Once again, thanks for the reviews and alerts, I love to see my inbox full… this chapter is reli a filler one, because I thought there was a lot unexplained about Tony's feelings towards Ziva. Also, I know some of you said that you kinda liked Ray – but I didn't want to make him into a horrible person, cos I think he does care about her. But obviously, being a loyal Tiva fan, I don't like him, so I had to get rid of him too :D Bye bye Ray :D Enjoy!**

Downstairs in the lobby, Tony waited patiently. He never liked Ray – right from the beginning when Ziva was emailing _Mr. Miami_. He always had a bad feeling about Ray, like he did with Rivkin. Rivkin turned out to be a rogue agent, so what did that make Ray? Something in his gut told him that behind the 'loving' side of Ray which he showed Ziva, there was another side.

It bothered Tony to see Ziva with Ray, but he couldn't put his finger on _why_ it bothered him. Maybe he was becoming like the 'brother' Ray had said Ziva saw him as. But he didn't see Ziva as a sister. He saw her as….. something different. Abby was his sister, but Ziva was something else to him.

For over 6 years, their relationship had changed. They weren't used to serious conversations, so they avoided talking about the serious things. It was always joking, teasing and prank-pulling.

He was sure of one thing though, and even Ziva could not deny it. Somewhere in their 6 year relationship, she had liked him. Really liked him. He could tell the minute difference in her behaviour towards him when she had liked him. He understood her feelings, that night at Jeanne's house…

"_Ziva, have you ever lied to someone you love?"_

He was an idiot, for not realising that she was talking about him, when she told him that the person never found out she had lied to them. He was an idiot for shouting at her in the elevator after their op. to break into the secured facility to retrieve DOMINO.

"_I'm tired of pretending." He had managed to tell her.  
>"So am I" Her voice was small. <em>

"_It's dinner theatre for an audience of one. When's the curtain go down?" And he left. _

And another fact he could not deny was that he loved her. He didn't know if it was love, but he definitely had feelings for her. He cared for her, and he would always have her back.

Those 3 months without her 2 years ago, when she was in Somalia were hell for him. Life lost all meaning when he was told about her death. When Saleem tore off that bag from her head, his heart had stopped beating. She was alive, in front of him. And that was the moment he realised how much she meant to him. That he couldn't live without her.

He wanted her to be happy after she came back. And if Ray made her happy, he decided that he would be best for her. In some ways he was scared of telling her – he couldn't face her rejection – and he couldn't test their friendship either. He had lost her once, and he didn't want to lose her again.

Tony was interrupted from his thoughts when he heard loud footsteps coming down the stairs. Ray. It had to be. The agent stood to go back upstairs, straightening his new T.M Lewin tie.

Ray had planned on leaving the building straight away, but seeing Tony standing there, he decided it was time for revenge.

"DiNozzo," he acknowledged. "Got nothing better to do than spend Friday night with Ziva?"

"What do you want Ray?" Tony's answer was to-the-point.

"For you to leave her alone. She doesn't need you in her life."

"Yeah, and she really needs you," Tony spoke sarcastically.

Ray grabbed onto Tony's tie, pulling him forward. Tony tried to keep his calm. He didn't need this to end up how it did with Rivkin.

"She. Needs. Me. But, thanks to you, she can't see that. She can't see anything past her egotistical self…"

Now, Tony lost it. To insult Ziva in his presence was definitely treading dangerous waters. He would not take Ray and his unneeded stupid comments.

"Shut up. If she doesn't want you, she doesn't want you. Having difficulty understanding simple English?" he pulled himself from Ray's grip on his tie.

"What are you so annoyed about anyways Cruz? Rejection? Thought a big CIA man like yourself could handle it." He smirked.

"You know what DiNozzo. The only thing stopping me from breaking your jaw right now, is Ziva. So shut up, or I swear I will…."

"What? You will what? You don't have the nerve to do anything. You really think she cares about you?" He couldn't help it. Of course he was jealous of Ray. He wanted to be in his position every day. As much as he tried not to bring his personal opinions into this, his voice was laced with jealousy.

"She loves me. Not you – she will never love you," Ray spat in his face.

"Well who's the one getting rejected now?" Tony questioned with a grin. "Stay out of her life. She deserves better than you."

"What, like you?"

"At least I care about her. I would always be there for her – were you?"

"That, is none of your business." Ray answered bitterly.

"That answers that. No you weren't. You were never there for her Cruz."

"You don't know what it's like….." His tone remained angry.

"Yeah, I don't. But it's not that hard Cruz. Stay away from her. She doesn't need you."

"She doesn't need you either. You think she will ever love you? You're her friend remember – not her boyfriend. That is my job. She will never love you DiNozzo, so just give up the act."

Tony had no words left to waste on Ray. He grabbed onto Ray's collar, and spoke the words bitterly. "Get. Out."

Ray pulled himself from Tony's clutch, straightened his collar, and walked past Tony.

With an icy laugh and an evil grin, he said, "She will never love you." The door to the building shut.

For a minute, or maybe two, Tony just stood there, playing the scene over in his head. _She will never love you. _The words repeated themselves in his head. Again. And again. Would she ever love him? Maybe this was what he was really scared off – rejection. This was the reason he hadn't told her yet, and probably wouldn't have the guts to.

Still, he was her best friend, her partner, and the man whom she trusted the most. He would have to make this enough – for now. He had a duty, and that was to look after her. So if Ziva needed him now, he would be there for her. After all, wasn't this what he was trying to get her to do for the last few days – trust him? He had to support her, like she had supported him after Jeanne.

Tony made his way upstairs again to Ziva's apartment for the second time that night. How had such a fun evening turned into a sour, serious one? Ray of course.

Digging one hand into his trouser pocket and raising the other, he knocked on her door.

No reply.

"Ziva" he called, knocking again.

No reply.

"Ziva, open the door." His knocks got more frantic. He didn't want to break it down, but he was really worried. He decided to pick the lock.

Once he did this, he quietly pushed the door open and stepped into her apartment, on full alert. That's when he heard it.

**So? Liked it? Hated it (hopefully not)…... please leave a review on your way out….. thanks again for reading, my loyal readers!**


	5. The Ring

**Hi my faithful readers,**

**I'm back with the next chapter – and it's extra-long just for you! Thanks again to all my reviewers, and please please please review this chapter too. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! **

**Oh, and just a reminder that I own none of the characters. CBS owns them all **

**Enjoy!**

The sound of Ziva sobbing was still an unfamiliar one to Tony. So, when he heard quite sobs coming from behind the closed doors of her bedroom, he was immediately worried. Ziva did not cry over small things. She was a strong-hearted, strong-willed woman, and Tony knew that Ray's words and actions must have shaken her up pretty bad. He needed to be there for her now, more than ever - to comfort her. He walked quickly, urgently, to her bedroom, and called her through the closed door.

"Ziva?" His tone was soft – gentle. "Ziva, I'm coming in"

Tony opened the door softly, to see Ziva sitting on the other side of her bed, with her back against the leg of the bed. From what he could see, her knees were drawn up against her chest and her arms were wrapped around them. She was still in her work clothes, a blouse and black trousers.

For a minute, he stood there, completely still, trying to make sense of the whole situation. Trying to figure out his next move. Maybe, it was his mind, still in shock from seeing her like this – vulnerable. He knew that she knew he was there. No matter what, her crazy ninja skills always stayed with her. He realised that she wanted him there, with her. If not, she would have already got up and given him some lame excuse, telling him that she was fine.

He hated to see her in this state. Ziva with all her walls down, completely vulnerable was a sight which NO ONE got to see. However, Ziva was not the only one hurting. Tony didn't like seeing her like this. It made him feel physically sick and uncomfortable.

Without wasting any more time, he went to Ziva's side and sat next to her on the soft beige carpet. Tony wrapped his right arm around her, so that she leaned onto his shoulder. She clung onto his shirt with her hand, and cried silently.

The sound of Ziva crying was not loud sobs, but quite ones. With Tony next to her, she hardly made a sound now. She just stared at the wall in front of her, focusing on a spot, and letting the tears escape her eyes. She didn't need to brave with Tony. She didn't need to try and hide her emotions, because she knew Tony was there for her – not like him. The man whom she loved. No, **had** loved. There were no feelings left in her heart for him now. How could he have accused her? How could he have thought that she had used him? And how could he blame an innocent man like Tony, who was there for her now, when he wasn't?

She had loved him. She had loved Tony, a few years ago, and she knew there were still some feelings for him. Sitting next to him now, wrapped in his arms, she knew she could not afford to let her mind wander. She had managed to convince herself four years ago that they should remain as friends and co-workers – nothing more. Ziva loved him so much, that she wasn't willing to lose what they had now, and what they had then in the hopes for her love to be returned. She had already experienced losing him once, and she had seen the effect that love in their relationship could have.

For Ziva, Michael's murder was a warning sign. If she messed with her and Tony's friendship too much, this is what it would end up to be. Fights and jealousy. Fun bickering and arguing replaced by serious conversations and serious fights. And she didn't want that. She couldn't risk their friendship in the hopes of something more.

_Couldn't live without you _

Those words still haunted her till now. It was Tony telling her that he loved her. And even though the words were spoken by Tony, they were also Ziva's feelings.

This phrase was the reason that Ziva had decided to let their friendship relationship be. She didn't want her heart broken again, and she didn't want Tony's heart broken. She basically didn't want a repeat of their separation because she couldn't live with just friendship. She was scared to complicate things.

After a long while, Ziva was the first to speak. "Thank you." She said, wiping her tears.

Still in his arms, Tony asked, "Ziva, what did he say?"

"Nothing."

Silence. He looked down at her, still with her head leaning on his shoulder.

"He said….." Ziva decided that she owed him the truth. So she took a big breath, "He told me that I used him. That… I used him until things with…. Things you worked out." She waited for his response.

"Oh," was all he could manage.

"Yeah. I can't believe I didn't realise how jealous he got before." She stated.

"Forget about him Ziva. He's not worth it, and you know that."

"Yeah, he's not worth it." She said in a small voice. "Tony…. I, um…. Have to show you something." She slid out from under his arm and walked past him to her bedside table.

"_Come on Ziva. You have to do this. He deserves to know this after what he has done for you." _She tried to convince herself, and give herself enough courage.

She opened the wooden drawer and right at the front sat the small red velvet box. Ziva took a breath and picked it up, shutting the drawer.

At the sight of the ring box in her hand, Tony's heart stopped beating and his breath caught in his throat. Ray had proposed to her? He was in shock that he couldn't respond. So he said the first thing that came to his mind, a lame comment. "Nice box."

"It's empty." She dropped it to him, and then sat back down on his right side.

"Empty?" Relief flooded through him, until he realised how she must have felt.

"That is how I got it. That is how he gave it to me. I guess he didn't want to be with me after all." Her eyes focused once again on the red box in Tony's hands.

"That's….kinda pathetic. He couldn't propose?" Tony tried to lighten the situation by making a joke.

"Yeah," Ziva sighed. "Guess he wasn't the one." She continued, looking into his eyes with a sad expression, and all her walls down, "All I want, Tony, is for someone to love me. Really love me. For there to be no terms and conditions. Is that too much to ask?" Her voice broke at the end, and tears filled her eyes again.

He locked his gaze with her. "No. That is definitely not too much to ask. You'll find him Ziva. Maybe you're just looking too hard."

"_He's right in front of you. You just need to open your eyes and realise it sweet cheeks." _He added silently.

Of course she realised what he was saying. Of course she knew what it meant. Like always, Tony was skimming the edges, not saying what he really wanted to.

Before he accidently kissed her without her full consent, Tony forced himself to look at anything but her. So he looked down at the box again, and then back at her.

"You ready for that movie? It'll cheer you up," he smiled. "The Ring is a really good horror"

"The Ring? Very appropriate name." She laughed. Even she wanted to make the mood lighter and funnier – just like it always was between them.

Tony mentally Gibbs slapped himself, but he also laughed. "Come on" he said getting up and offering her his hand. He couldn't help but notice how well their hands fit together - Like they were meant to be.

_Do you think about soul mates?_

His mind flashed back to a few years ago. The question he so badly wanted to answer then, but dodged. How could he not have told her then?

_Yes. I believe in soul mates because I know that you're mine. _

That was the answer he had given her so many times - In his dreams of course.

(INSERT BREAK)

"I'll get the food warm," Ziva said in the kitchen.

"Why don't you sit down….I'll do it," he smiled. "I am completely at your service my lady!"

"Such a gentleman!" Ziva laughed. "I did not expect that!" the sarcasm in her voice was notable.

She left laughing and put the movie into her DVD player while Tony emptied the contents of the take out boxes onto plates and put them in the microwave.

"You certainly know your way around my kitchen, don't you?" she observed from the sofa.

"Movie nights" he smiled at her.

"Why did we stop?" she asked, her expression slightly more serious.

Silence.

"Shouldn't have. They were fun." Tony said carrying the plates and laying them on the table in front of the sofa. He went back to the counter to get the beer. He opened them both and then handed one to her.

"To old times" he held up his bottle.

"To old times," Ziva replied, smiling and clinking her bottle with his. He sat down next to her, and both started eating their stir-fry noodles while watching the movie.

In just 20 minutes into the movie, all the food had disappeared off the plates, but the beer was still there. Sitting next to each other, the two partners enjoyed the movie, occasionally adding their own comments.

During the movie, Ziva had gone to get a blanket, so now, at the end of the movie, they both sat next to each other, blanket covering them.

And they weren't just sitting next to each other when the credits rolled. Ziva's head was on his chest, while his arm was wrapped around her, much like the position in Ziva's bedroom earlier.

"That was good," Ziva commented, lifting her head off his chest.

"Yeah, creepy."

"You weren't scared, were you Tony?" Ziva smirked sarcastically.

"No," he replied, a little too soon. Ziva let out a small laugh, standing and picking their empty plates off the table and taking them to the kitchen. She began to wash them, while Tony took out the DVD and threw away the beer.

Deciding that it was probably polite to leave, Tony grabbed his coat off the counter.

"I should probably get going now," he told her in the kitchen.

"Thanks for coming Tony. It was a good night. We should… um... do it again some time," she smiled and it made his heart melt.

"Yeah," he returned the smile as she opened the door for him.

"Good night," he said.

"Good night."

He turned and left, and Ziva just stood there for a minute, remembering the fun that they had that night. Then, her mind flashed back to Ray. She forced herself to forget about him tonight, because he wasn't worth her time anymore. Turning the lights off, and locking up, she went to get changed and then went to bed.

That night, she didn't think about Ray, but instead about the fun she had with Tony.

**Thanks again for reading! Please please review, because your comments make my day :D I'm really busy, but I will try and get the next chapter ASAP :D**


	6. Movies, Popcorn and Coke

**Hello once again readers!**

**this is a very very special update because today (August 4th) is my Birthday! I am now officially 14! enjoy the chapter and thanks again for all your reviews and alerts :D **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story... All NCIS cast is owned by CBS (i think)... well basically, its not mine :(**

Beep….. Beep….. Beep

The alarm clock woke Tony up from his slumber. **10.00** the numbers read on the digital bedside clock. This was late, even for Tony. Usually, on the weekend, he lay in till about 9.00, then had a shower and breakfast before deciding how to spend his weekend.

Lazily, he stumbled out of bed and into the kitchen to find something to eat. He didn't have the energy to make something special (in other words, pancakes), so instead he brewed some coffee and found bread in his fridge.

8 minutes away, at Ziva's apartment, Ziva was sitting on the couch reading her book. She had decided to sleep in this morning till 6.00, and then went on her usual 5 mile run in the park. She had tried out a new route today and even pushed herself to do an extra two miles. She had come back home and had a shower, and later had breakfast, before settling down on the couch with _The Kite Runner_ in her hand.

At 11.00, when Tony was finally ready after his long hot shower and dressed, he debated how to spend the day. His first thoughts were to call up some girl and ask her out to the movies this evening, but after spending 20 minutes looking through his phone for the right person, he hit a dead end. Then, when he was going through his phone for the fourth time, and actually managed to get past the letter 'S', he saw Ziva's name last on his contacts list.

Deciding that of all the people he knew, he wanted to spend his Saturday with Ziva, Tony gathered a few movies, a few cans of coke and some packets of popcorn and headed to her place.

The drive was short, as she only lived 8 minutes away. Parking the car and walking to her apartment, Tony mentally told himself that this was stupid. They had only seen each other yesterday, and well…. What excuse did he have this time? Coming as an uninvited guest? He stood there in front of her door for a minute, before he gathered the courage to finally knock on the door.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Inside her apartment, Ziva put her book down, surprised at who could be coming to her place on a Saturday morning. Then, she stiffened suddenly, wondering if it was Ray. Really? Did he honestly have the nerve to show his face to her again? Cautiously, she put her book down on the couch and got up to look through the peephole.

There, standing on her doorstep, was a grinning Tony, holding popcorn, a bunch of DVD's and a large bottle of Coke.

_Seriously_ she thought. _Of all people, it has to be Tony? _

Tony still waiting outside, unaware that Ziva was looking at him through the peephole, found his idea stupid.

_Come on Tony. She could still be in bed! Wait, Ziva, sleeping in till 11.30? No. _

_Maybe, she just doesn't want your company. No, that can't be it. You had great fun yesterday. Maybe….. _He ran out of excuses.

"Tony! I didn't expect you here," Ziva said opening the door.

Tony looked at his feet and smiled awkwardly, "Well you see Ziva, I… um…. Was sitting at home, and um, didn't really know what to do. So…. I….. thought, well, maybe you'd want to watch a few movies."

"_Lame excuse DiNozzo" _He told himself. "_You really think she bought that?"_

Laughing at his desperation to spend time with her, Ziva stood back to let him in.

"And you thought the best thing to do on your Saturday off is to watch movies me?" Ziva laughed.

"Well, yeah…. Wait, you didn't have any plans did you?"

"Not really. I was just going to read"

"Really Zee-vah? Spend your Saturday reading? Good thing I brought some really great films to watch"

"Which one's did you get?" she asked, sitting back down on the couch as he put in a disk into her DVD player.

"Well, I decided that since we did horror last night, we should watch something lighter today. So prepare to be surprised!" he smiled as he pressed the play button.

HAIRSPRAY, the big colourful letters came up on the menu. Tony pressed select, and sat back on the couch to enjoy.

"Hairspray?" Ziva questioned. "Why would you make a movie about something you put on your hair?"

"Hairspray Ziva, is a classic! I can't believe you've never seen it! Maybe, that's because it's not a book!"

"Very funny Tony. For your information, I see plenty of films which are not books."

Tony laughed. "Yeah, well I think you'll like this one. Shh.. it's starting."

For the next hour and a half, Tony and Ziva enjoyed the lively musical. During the film, they managed to eat a whole bag of salty popcorn, and drink most of the 1 litre bottle of coke. Occasionally, Tony would sneak peeks at Ziva during the film. He enjoyed seeing her joining in the film with such enthusiasm, especially near the end, where she was even drumming the beat of the music on her thighs. Thinking that she couldn't see him looking at her, he glanced at her several times during the film, although he was unaware that her ninja skills were still on, and she could feel his glare on her skin.

Ziva wondered to herself why Tony was constantly looking at her. To be honest, she did not really mind, partly because she was also stealing glances at him during the film. Seeing Tony watch a movie was … let's say different. There was no word to describe how engrossed he got in every film he watched, no matter what it was.

The second film they decided to watch was Grease.

"Ok, I really do not understand why these American movies have to have these weird names. I mean, Grease?" she asked while he refilled their glasses with coke and got some more popcorn.

"Grease, Zee-vah, is also a classic. And no, it's not literally about grease." He laughed. "Just go with the flow sweet cheeks"

"The flow? The flow of what? Wait, is that another movie reference? If there a film called the flow, because really, I don't…."

Tony put his index finger on her lips to shut her up. "You're rambling," he reminded her, his tone now quieter.

Ziva was immediately quite when his finger touched her lip. She looked into his eyes to see an emotion which she couldn't name. Or maybe, she was too scared to name. It sent shivers down her spine. Tony, now sitting next to her, unwillingly removed his finger and looked at her earnestly. He could not help it, and he really did not mean for this to come up now, but her lips just looked so... kissable.

"Ziva," he said, still looking into her deep brown eyes. Ever so slowly, he inched his face forwards towards hers, going slowly, in case she didn't want this (although Tony prayed she did).

Ziva's body went into panic mode, a thousand thoughts rushing through her head at once. She was mesmerized by his eyes, and couldn't speak. On hand, she wanted this. She had wanted this for as long as she could remember. But she also knew this would complicate things. As Tony's face got closer to hers, she instinctively leaned forward too. Now they were just centimetres apart, Ziva afraid to make the next move.

But Tony was not afraid. He had wanted to open up to her, to stop pretending. So he took the step forward, closing the space between them.

**So? Liked it? Hit that review button on your way out please :D**


	7. Mistakes?

**_Thanks again to all reviewers and all alerters! *Abby-hug* Enjoy :D_**

_But Tony was not afraid. He had wanted to open up to her, to stop pretending. So he took the step forward, closing the space between them. _

As her soft, tender lips hit his, Ziva stopped thinking about how this was a bad idea. Instead, she focused on just kissing him. His hand found its way into her soft brown curls, and hers to the back of his neck.

It was different from when they were undercover. Much different. She had never realised until now how much Tony had held back when they kissed in that hotel room, posing as married assassins.

The kiss was full of passion and years of pent up tension, and both didn't pull back until the need for air became a necessity. Pulling back, Tony's eyes showed love (yes, Ziva had managed to name it), but her own eyes showed surprise, and a hint of fear.

Their faces were inches from each other, when Tony broke the silence. "Wow," was all he could manage. But Ziva was sitting there, unsure what to say.

Tony was certain she would have enjoyed that – who wouldn't have? But the fact that she wasn't saying anything and her face was full of fear was scaring him.

As much as she had enjoyed that, she knew she couldn't let this go on further. It was dangerous territory, and their friendship was hanging off it.

"Tony…. We can't do this…" she looked ashamed, to tell him that. She knew he would be hurt by her words – and he was.

"Why Ziva?" his voice was soft. "What's stopping us?"

"We shouldn't…. It's not right…" Her sentences were broken, her mind was running a marathon. How could she tell him?

"Ziva, you know that is not a good enough excuse. Just please tell me" he begged.

She didn't reply, just looked down at her feet.

"I should not have let this get this far," she was avoiding eye contact and looking down at her feet instead.

"What is wrong in this?" he questioned, motioning between them.

When she spoke again, her tone was harsher, but only because she wanted to stop this now and not get any further into it. She cared too much for him to tangle him into her complicated life, and she most definitley did not want to make things difficult for them. "I don't want to talk about it Tony. Please let it go. We kissed, it shouldn't have happened. It was a mistake, and we should move on now."

She wanted to tell him in the easiest way possible, without displaying any emotion, so they could both just forget about it.

Tony was stunned and hurt. It was like a thousand knives had just stabbed him. Ziva was telling him it was a mistake? Rejection. This was what he had been afraid of in the first place.

"No… no, you don't mean that do you?" he asked. He could feel the lump forming in his throat. He loved her, and she was telling him it was a mistake?

She was silent again. It made Tony angry.

"Why Ziva? Why can't you just tell me what's wrong. You and I both know that it wasn't a mistake. Why for once can you not let those damn walls down and just trust me?" He was speaking way too loud, and he knew it, but he had to know why.

"I do trust you," she said in a small voice. But he was still annoyed.

"No, you don't. You trust me because I have your back, at work. But you don't tell me anything other than that. I thought we were friends, Ziva." The last part was said quieter.

"We are. We are friends, but why do you expect me to tell you everything about my life. Why do you need to know everything?" now she shouting too.

"So I can help you! You don't always have to keep things bottled up. It's ok to show some emotion. But obviously, you don't trust me enough"

"And what things do I keep bottled up, Tony? I. Am. Not. A. Victim. So stop treating me like one." She spat back.

"Ziva, I don't treat you like a victim, and you know that," his tone now softer.

"It seems like you always do. What was today for? Huh? To cheer me up from yesterday?"

"No, it's not like that. I just wanted to spend time with you."

"We see each other every day at work. Why must you insist that we should be more?"

"I don't insist anything," he shouted.

Silence.

"I see what this is about." Tony broke the silence, standing up from the sofa. "You just think we can't do this because of what your Senor South Beach said yesterday. You can't stand up to him, can you? You're afraid to admit that he was right."

She couldn't take it anymore. The stuff he was saying was wrong, and it was making her angry. She got up and pushed him down onto the floor. It was almost like Israel 2 years ago, with her standing on top of him.

"Why can't you just leave anything alone? Why must you bring it up? And you want to know something Tony? He was not right. I was not using him, because I never had any feelings for you." The last part was shouted at the top of her voice, and tears threatened to fall. He had made her say that she never loved him. She didn't mean for it to go this far. She didn't want to hurt him. She just wanted to tell him that them in a relationship would never work out. But the conversation had steered from that topic, and somehow, she had shouted at him that she had absolutely no feelings for him.

Tony just stared at her for a moment, and knowing he couldn't do anything now, he released himself from her grip, got up and said one last thing to her before leaving, "I never wanted this to turn out how it has. But maybe that's the way you want it." His words were bitter, and they hurt him, as much as they hurt Ziva. But he was angry, and had said the first thing that came into his mind.

He walked to her door without looking back and slammed it shut. The sound echoed in her ears for a few seconds, before she broke down for the third time that week, leaning against the sofa and letting the tears fall. However, this time, there was no Tony to hold her.

**Ok, so please dont hate Ziva... because i think that with her experience, she wouldn't jump into a relationship with Tony straight away. I hoped you liked it though, it was kinda angsty. Review please please please :D:D**


	8. Avoiding and Fighting

**Thanks again for all the reviews and alerts! Ok, so this chapter is still angsty, i am reli sorry to all those who hate angst, but i promise that it will get better in the next 2 chapters and there will be eventual tiva! **

Sunday was a long day for Tony. He spent all of the morning in his bed, suffering from a throbbing migraine, courtesy of his hangover. Yes, he had drunk last night, after Ziva told him she had absolutely no feelings for him. He had drunk more than he could remember and now he was ashamed that he did. He hadn't drunk so much since…Jenny's death, and he didn't mean to repeat that. But he had no other way to escape the pain that he was feeling, and no other ways to forget his sorrows. So he had emptied his 3 bottle pack of beer, and then quite a lot of Vodka.

In bed, lying on top of the covers, he turned his head slowly, so not to aggravate the migraine, and read the illuminated numbers off the bedside clock.

1.13

1.13? How could he possibly have stayed in bed this late? The sunshine was drowning most of his room; it had been since 6 o'clock this morning, because he hadn't even shut the curtains last night. Running a hand through his scruffy hair, he stumbled out of bed, using the bed post for support so he didn't fall over. He made his way slowly to the bathroom and entered the shower.

That day, Tony did…. Nothing. Literally. After his shower, he made his way to the kitchen, only to find his fridge empty, and the cabinets clear. All except for…. Cereal. Seriously? Who ate cereal for lunch? But he didn't have the will power or the strength to go to the supermarket, and his stomach would not agree with take away, so he just ate the cereal.

After that he lay on his couch, thinking. Of her. And her rejection. And the fact that he knew she was lying, but she still said _those_ words. _I have no feelings for you. Those words_ swam in his head for the rest of his day.

At 7, he decided to eat dinner – cereal. Again. After that, he lay on his couch, trying to persuade himself not to drink again. The last thing he needed was a hangover on a Monday and Gibbs all over his case. So for the next four hours, he lay on the couch and watched Magnum, and then Paranormal Activity, and then, because literally nothing else was coming on cable, he was forced to endure half an hour of Hannah Montanna. _How do children watch this?_ He asked himself time and time again. At 10.30, his TV decided to suddenly crash, producing a loud, high pitched screeching sound and gray fuzzy lines.

He swore as he turned the volume down with the remote, got up and banged it hard with his hand. This was the last thing he could put up with today. It was even worse than watching Hannah Montanna! Instead of going back to normal, the TV suddenly flashed off, and Tony was left with only the light of the lamp next to the couch. Now he really needed a drink.

_No. No, Anthony. You don't want to drink, and you know it. Stop thinking about that! _He thought, frustrated.

So, he decided instead to go to bed. He didn't bother changing out of his sweatpants and Ohio state T-shirt. He didn't brush his teeth. _The dentist can go to hell _he thought. Besides, what damage could cereal possibly do to your teeth?

So he turned the lamp off, set the alarm and crawled under the duvet, doing anything he could to not think about her.

**Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva.**

"You're late Tony." Mcgee stated the obvious looking up from the computer screen. "Late night?" He fished. 5 years ago, he wouldn't have dared questioned Tony, but know the probie and senior field agent were much closer.

Tony slid his bag pack of his shoulder, stealing a glance at Ziva before answering McGee. She wasn't even looking at him. She was just looking down at her paper work pretending to be working, but Tony could tell she was listening.

"Mind your own business McNosey," he said grumpily sitting down. "Late night for you? Why is our probie so cheerful today?" he observed.

"If you must know DiNosey," McGee wanted to brag, "I had a date."

"McGee? Had a date, what is happening to the world Ziva," he forgot for a moment about everything that had happened that weekend. He had gotten back to normal routine.

At hearing her name, her head shot up from her 'paperwork'. She looked at him for a second, before realising _who_ she was staring at. She looked back down, later realising that McGee would know that something was up between her and Tony.

However, McGee was too busy in his own world, reminiscing memories from last night, to realise the tension that was building up in the bullpen.

"You jealous, DiNozzo? Gibbs walked in his Gibbs style into the bullpen, carrying his large cup of coffee.

"No boss. Never." He lied. Yeah he was jealous.

"Good. Grab your gear, dead petty officer. Navy Club, Virginia." He tossed the keys to the van, surprisingly towards McGee.

When they finally reached the crime scene, a long hour later (thanks to McGee's driving and Tony's exceptional navigational skills) Gibbs was annoyed.

"Can you do anything right DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked grumpily getting out of the front of the van and walking towards the back of it with Tony and McGee while Ziva went to interview a witness.

Tony, who was still lost in his thoughts about the weekend , replied, still a bit lost. "Sorry boss"

Gibbs was as surprised as McGee, who was taking out the gear. Tony had just apologized. Not only was this breaking the rules – Gibbs' rule – but the fact that he did it instead of giving some smart answer back was just, well…. Surprising….

McGee pulled out the camera and went to take shots of the crime scene, while Tony just stood there looking at his feet, Gibbs staring at him.

"You alright, DiNozzo?" his voice was concerned.

There was no point in lying to him if he knew that he was lying. So instead of saying, "Yeah" with a huge fake smile on his face, he looked past his boss, and said "No"

That surprised Gibbs even more than Tony's apology. Tony, notepad and pencil in hand, walked past Gibbs to Ducky.

**Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva.**

"Talk to me Duck," Gibbs ordered, walking past the yellow crime scene tape.

"Well Jethro, Petty Officer Blake appears to have been stabbed with this kitchen knife," he said, holding up the evidence with his latex-gloved finger. "We will be able to determine the exact type with the help of Miss Scuito's expertise. Aah, what do we have here?"

Palmer picked up the victims hand before Ducky continued. "Signs of trauma on his hands indicate he was attacked, which would suggest he was conscious when he was killed. We may be able to get some DNA from underneath his fingernails. Also, note the red swelling in his eyes. It is most likely from some kind of poisonous substance, about which we will know more when we get him back to autopsy." He announced.

"DiNozzo, take Ziva. Check out his car," Gibbs ordered.

Ziva looked up nervously, but she couldn't say no to Gibbs. Without a word, the two agents walked over to the car park at the front of the navy club, making sure they stayed a good distance away from each other.

Ziva was angry at him. Obviously. How could he have said that she was scared of Ray? Could he not see that she was doing this because she was scared about what this could mean for their relationship? Could he not understand that she had been hurt too many times to jump into something with him? And then he had accused her?

Tony was painfully aware of the anger that brewed around them - the cautiousness that Ziva showed in walking next to him. He stole a glance at her, seeing that her eyes were glued in front and her face showed no emotion. Those walls were up again. The ones that she couldn't even take down for him.

When they got to the car park, and spent 20 minutes searching all of the 150 parking spaces, they came to the conclusion that Petty Officer Blake's car was not there.

'Great" Ziva mumbled under her breath, while Tony got off the phone with Gibbs.

"He wants us to check out Blake's house. McGee's emailing you the address," he said, shutting his phone, but not making eye contact with her as he spoke.

The pair drove to Blake's one-story house without saying a word to each other. When they arrived, they searched the house for any signs of violence and anything out of the ordinary. Nothing. This was beginning to get annoying. So far, they had absolutely no leads.

As she was getting back into the passenger side of the car (yes, she didn't have the energy or the will to argue with him over who was driving) her phone began buzzing in her pocket.

"David"

"Ziva, can you bring back a soil sample from Blake's garden. Abby needs it," McGee asked over the phone.

"Soil sample? Ok" she replied in monotone. She shut her phone and spoke to Tony, although she was still looking out of the windshield.

"Abby needs a soil sample." She said plainly.

"K," was the reply that came. Both agents exited the car again and pulled out a specimen jar from their gear.

"Not there Ziva. Get a soil sample from here," Tony said pointing to the ground beside a tree, while Ziva stood on the other side of the lawn, filling the specimen jar.

"No, we should get it from here," came the reply.

"Ziva, the soil is wet here. It'll be easier to get out," he pointed.

"Does that even make a difference?" she was getting annoyed.

"Fine do what you want," he called back leaving too back into the car.

"Fine, do it how you like," Ziva answered back, losing her patience. She thought Tony heard, but he was too far away. Ziva dropped the soil from the jar back onto the grass and went back to the car.

So neither agent had collected a sample, each thinking that the other had.

**Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva. Tiva.**

"DiNozzo, get the soil samples from Abby." Gibbs ordered, leaving the bullpen after the agents had presented their leads and research.

"You go. You got the sample," Tony told Ziva plainly. Ziva looked from the plasma screen to Tony, surprised.

"I.. I told you to get it," she said to Tony.

"No.. you said that it wouldn't make a difference where we got the soil from, so I told you to get it from where you were getting it," Tony pointed out.

"Yeah, and then I told you to do it," she answered back annoyed.

"No you didn't. You wanted to do it your way. I told you you could."

"Well this would not have happened in the first place if you hadn't told me what to do," Ziva answered back.

"Well sorry for trying to help you. You just don't take advice well do you?" his tone was bitter. "You just do what you want." He said, obviously referring to the weekend.

"Yeah, and you do anything without thinking of the consequences." This was definitely not about the soil sample anymore.

Meanwhile Gibbs had come back into the bullpen, holding a brown paper folder. Hearing his agents argue, he slapped them both on the back of their heads.

"Do I need to send you two to the men's room?" he questioned.

"No boss. Getting back to work," Tony said, looking angrily towards Ziva, who was also returning this look. This did not go unnoticed by Gibbs.

"Soil sample?" Gibbs asked Tony from his desk.

"Um… well, there was a… um…. Slight confusion…" Tony stuttered, still looking at Ziva who was now sitting behind her desk.

"First thing in the morning. Take McGee," he ordered, realising that there was something going on between Tony and Ziva.

For the rest of the two hours of work, neither Tony or Ziva spoke to each other.

**Ok, so please please don't hate me! it will get better :D i wud luv a review, and i promise the next chapter will be up tomorrow :D**


	9. A man of few words can say a lot

**I can't believe that I have 24 reviews for this story! It reli makes me smile to see them everyday :D as promised, this is the next chapter :D**

That same night, with no leads on the case, the team was given the, "Go home, get some rest" from Gibbs at a little past 7. Fresh minds in the morning would hopefully lead them somewhere to find the Petty Officer's murderer.

Each Agent went there own way – McGee excitedly talking about his second date with Emma tonight, and Tony and Ziva not even looking at each other.

At around quarter to ten, Gibbs was in his basement drinking bourbon and adding polish paint onto his boat, when he heard the familiar creek of the front door and footsteps coming down the stairs.

"You're late DiNozzo," he said as his senior field agent walked down the wooden steps. Tony looked like a mess. His normally gelled and perfect hair was scruffy, his tie was loose and his face looked tired.

"Didn't know I had an appointment," Tony replied as Gibbs put the paintbrush back into the paint can and pulled the bottle of bourbon down from the shelve. He tossed out the screws from two jars and poured in the bourbon, the liquid looking like heaven to Tony.

"Thanks boss, really needed a drink," Tony spoke as Gibbs handed him the jar. He took a large sip and gulped, "Eugh, I forgot how strong this stuff is'

Gibbs returned his famous half smile, waiting for Tony to continue about why he was here.

And why was Tony here? Well, after going home and then to the supermarket, and then having no options left for the evening to occupy himself with, Tony couldn't help but think about Ziva. _Damn the stupid broken TV_ he had thought. There was only one thing Tony could think about which would help him, and this time, it was not the alcohol. So at 8.30, he got up from his sofa, put his shoes back on, looked around for his keys and left for Gibbs' house.

"You going to say something DiNozzo, or just stand there?" Gibbs questioned, getting back to polishing the boat.

Tony sat down on a stool, and gathered all his courage to tell his boss what was bugging him. Would he be mad? No, he would probably say that this is why he should follow the rules.

"It's about Ziva," it was like that phrase said it all.

After a long silence and a stare from Gibbs, Gibbs was actually the first to speak, saying exactly what Tony had expected, "There are rules for a reason"

"Yeah, I know boss.. but, I dunno… there's something between us, and I can't do anything about it."

"What did she say?"

"She… well… Look, I know she cares for me. I care for her. Really care. But, she doesn't see it. She told me that she doesn't care." He looked down to his feet, ashamed and embarrassed.

"You love her?" Gibbs asked seriously. This was not something to take lightly.

Tony was taken off guard by the question. He hadn't expected Gibbs to ask. "I…yes. I love her," he gave his boss a sad smile.

"Look Tony," Gibbs began, letting out a sigh, "If you love her, you should tell her. But remember that she's been hurt too many times. She'll always be hesitant, but you got to be nice to her. Fighting and arguing is not going to do anything but make it worse."

"Yeah, you're right." Tony sighed. He felt so stupid for fighting with her today.

Gibbs continued, "You got to get her to trust you, and don't force her into anything."

"Yeah, thanks boss," Tony said, putting down the empty jar. He began to turn around and walk upstairs, when Gibbs began speaking again.

"DiNozzo"

"Yeah boss," he said, turning to face the older man.

"You do anything to hurt her, I will personally kick you off the team."

"Understood boss," and he did understand. Ziva had been hurt by too many people, and he wouldn't hurt her. He would make her realise his feelings but not force anything on her. Because he knew that she loved him, and he knew why she was hesitant to tell him. And as he walked to his car, he had a plan in his head, a way to tell her.

**Ok, so this one was a bit shorter than the last chapter, but I hope you liked it :d please drop a review on your way out x**


	10. Wedding plans

**Thanks again for all the reviews and alerts :D your comments encourage me to write more and update sooner :D I know the last chapter was short, but it was all I could think of between Gibbs and Tony. So this one's slightly longer, but the next one is much longer :D Enjoy :D!  
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On Tuesday morning, Tony definitely looked different. Happier in a way, and excited. He smiled as he came into the bullpen, carrying his bag pack. He even smiled at Ziva, who reluctantly smiled back, and then Tony greeted McGee.

"So how was the date McRomeo?" Tony asked

"Great, thanks for asking. We went to this really great Italian restaurant and then…" McGee stopped when he saw Tony's huge smile. "Why are you smiling? What's wrong? Wait… what did you do?"

"Nothing McSuspicious! Why do you think I did something?" he faked hurt.

"Because the normal Tony doesn't smile over my date details. Ziva, what's going on here," McGee asked.

Ziva looked up from her emails, "Hmm? … yes… something must be wrong," she replied hesitantly.

"Oh nothing is wrong. Just had a great night, that's all," Tony interrupted. Ziva looked at him, surprised. _He wouldn't, would he?_

"Spare us the details DiNozzo," Gibbs came in with his coffee.

"Oh, it's not like that boss… just slept well," Tony defended, looking at Ziva and realising how he must have sounded.

"McGee, Ziva. Get that soil sample to Abby, now." Gibbs purposely did not pair Tony and Ziva together. Whatever Tony wanted to do, he would have to do it in their own time, and not at work.

As McGee and Ziva were leaving, an excited Palmer came into the bullpen, calling them to wait.

"Guys," he ran up to them.

"Palmer," McGee acknowledged. Gibbs looked up, annoyed, from his desk, and Tony was listening from his desk.

The coming Saturday was Palmer's big day. In other words, his wedding. As the days were approaching to the big day, Palmer seemed to be getting more excited and more nervous. The wedding ceremony was in his Church, a large place of worship, and the reception would be held at a nearby hall. Surprisingly, the Autopsy Gremlin had chosen Tony as his best man, having no male siblings or close cousins. Even more surprising was the fact that Tony had grasped the responsibility quite well. He and Palmer had spent much time together finding the right suit for both of them. In fact, Tony had even helped Palmer write a few invitation cards!

Palmer continued, "Well, I wanted to tell you that you can bring someone on Saturday if you want," he spoke to McGee and Ziva. "You to Tony," he smiled at his chosen best-man. "And Agent Gibbs, Sir… if you would like to bring someone." He smiled, waiting for Gibbs to smile back.

Gibbs just let out a, "Hm" and a nod to tell Jimmy he had heard.

Palmer however, did not get the hint that it was time to leave now. He continued talking to Tony while McGee and Ziva left. "I am so excited, Tony.. and well nervous. But still excited… How's your speech going?" Palmer inquired.

"Great, yeah. Has your tux come yet?" Tony chatted away.

"Yeah, came in on Saturday actually. Looks great, if I do say so myself. And the rehearsals are going great too," he beamed.

Tony looked past the weird smiling autopsy gremlin to see a annoyed Gibbs.

"Uh, well I better get to work Palmer. See you later," Tony tried to get rid of Palmer before Gibbs' whistle blew.

"Yeah, see you later Tony,"

(insert break)

The rest of the week was a blur for both Tony and Ziva. While Tony kept up his happy and cheerful mood, Ziva found it weird. She could not understand how Tony could be so annoyed with her on Monday, and then completely change by Tuesday.

Tony did not ignore Ziva for the rest of that week. Instead, the chatting in the bullpen had almost got back to normal by Friday night. Ziva realised that maybe Tony was trying to forget about the things which happened on Saturday. She found this good, because she didn't want to be angry with him. She knew what she said to him on Saturday was wrong, and that she shouldn't have spoken to him like that, but Ziva was scared. She couldn't admit it to him, but there was a part of her which feared the loss of their friendship. She really didn't have another friend like Tony. He cared for her, and they spent so much time together. She wanted more, and yet she was scared for more.

On Friday night, at the end of the case and a long day, the team gathered in the Bullpen. Palmer was excitedly talking about wedding arrangements and others were also showing their enthusiasm. After all, this would be the first Team Gibbs wedding. It was soon decided that McGee and Emma would pick Abby up on the way to the wedding, as her car was at the garage being serviced. This, Abby was not too pleased about. She normally would be happy for Tim to give her a lift, but now, Tim came with 'baggage' as Ziva would say.

Tony offered Ziva a lift, which she reluctantly agreed to. So, it was decided that Tony would pick her up at 10.00. The ceremony began at 11, which gave plenty of time for the drive to the Church and the last minute preparations they were going to help Jimmy with.

At some points during the team conversation on Friday night, it seemed as if Tony was more excited than Palmer. And why would he not be? Tomorrow was the day on which he would carry out his plan, and hopefully convince Ziva. Fingers crossed. He had to be bold, but he also had to be understanding of her emotions. He was going to win her over.

**Review please :D next chapter should be up in 2 days :D**


	11. The wedding bells are ringing

**As promised this is the next, much longer chapter :D Enjoy, I really had fun writing this one!**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own NCIS or any of its characters.  
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Knock. Knock.

Tony looked down at his watch.

9.47. He was early. Too early. Maybe too eager. He straightened his black tie while waiting for the door to open. He was nervous about the events of today. Maybe even more nervous than Palmer was.

When Ziva opens the door, knowing who will be standing on the other side, she was still surprised at the fact that he was early. She inwardly chuckled, because since when is Tony ever early, or ever on time for that matter?

"Hello," she greeted with a large smile, opening the door and standing aside to let him in.

Before Tony could properly form a reply, he was taken aback by Ziva's beauty. She wore a baby blue knee-length dress, with thin straps on her shoulders. Her hair were let down in loose brown curls – the way Tony liked them. She just looked… beautiful.

"Wow…. Um….You look great," was his reply. Ziva saw his mouth which was still half-open, and his eyes which roamed her body.

A slight pinkish colour crept up her cheeks. Ziva David was not a woman who blushed easily at compliments, but there was something about the way Tony was looking at her which gave her butterflies.

"Thank you. You don't look too bad yourself," she joked.

"Ha, for your information, women happen to dig my Italian suits," he replied with mock-hurt expression.

"Of course!" she laughed.

"Oh, so I compliment you, and get sarcasm in return?"

"Ok. Tony…" she began

"Yes Ze-vah?"

"You look very nice yourself," she smiled

"Thank you. Now come on, or we'll be late," he said looking down at his watch.

"It is not even 10 yet!" she exclaimed "You are very early"

"I want to get there in time, I am the best man after all," he bragged.

"Ok, let me just get my purse," she said, heading into her bedroom.

When she was gone, Tony looked around her apartment. It was practically the same as last Saturday. He spotted the cover of _Grease _and _Hairspray _on her TV cabinet. He had never taken them back when he had left – hurt and angry. She hadn't given them back, and he hadn't asked.

"You ready?" she asked, coming out of her bedroom with her purse.

"Yeah," he opened the door and they walked to his car.

(insert break)

"Tony and Ziva are here," Abby pointed. After spending 30 minutes with McGee and his 'girlfriend' she had had enough. Standing up from her seat in the Church, she ran out to greet them.

"Hi Abbs!" Tony returned the hug.

"Hi guys! Finally, thank you for rescuing me! I thought I was going to die of boredom"

"Is McGee's new girlfriend not nice?" Ziva asked, standing beside Tony.

"Y-eah, I guess… but… it's like Tim's a different person around her," Abby explained. Yeah, Emma was nice, but being stuck in between the world's most gooey couple was getting on Abby's nerves.

"Hey, your dress looks really nice!" Abby exclaimed all of a sudden.

"Thank you," Ziva smiled. "Yours too Abby, it is very… you" she said, realising that it was ALL black.

"Thanks, I made it myself," she beamed. Tony however, was not concentrating on the dress discussion. He was looking at McGee's girlfriend, Emma.

"McGoo's girlfriend is really pretty!" he exclaimed in the middle of Abby and Ziva's dress discussion.

Ziva saw the look on Abby's face – jealousy – and smacked Tony's arm.

"Ow, what was that for?" he asked, rubbing his arm.

"Yeah, whatever," Abby had obviously been too busy turning around at looking at McGee and Emma to see Ziva hit Tony. "She's ok I guess"

"Hey guys!" A happy and nervous looking Palmer walked down the aisle in his black tuxedo towards them.

"Hey Palmer," Tony smiled.

"You guys look great! Especially you two," Palmer looked at Abby and Ziva.

"You look great too Palmer," Abby smiled.

"Nervous?" Ziva asked.

"Um.. just a little," Palmer admitted. "Do you guys want to take your seats, I think Breena will be coming down soon," he told Abby and Ziva.

"Sure, good luck," Abby patted Palmer's shoulder, and Ziva smiled.

"Come on Palmer, we better get up there," Tony said pointing to the front of the Church.

The bride, soon to be Mrs. Breena Palmer had chosen an elegant strapless white dress. Her smile couldn't have been bigger as she walked down the aisle, accompanied by the bridesmaids. Palmer tried to hide his smile too, as he saw his wife-to-be and began fidgeting with his hands in nervousness. Tony patted him on the shoulder and gave him a friendly smile.

Team Gibbs had been given seats quite near the front of the Church. The first row, was obviously occupied by Palmers' immediate family – his mother, father and younger sister – and the second was where the team was seated. Palmer considered them as close as family, which is why he had chosen Tony, a person who he had grown much closer to in the last few years, as his best man. McGee sat at the end of the row, furthest from the aisle, and Emma beside him. Abby was not too happy about the fact that Emma had asked (insisted, actually) her to sit next to her. And next to the unhappy Abby sat Ziva, and then Gibbs and Ducky.

The ceremony went smoothly, with the kiss lasting a few seconds longer than it needed too. The rings were exchanged and the vows spoken, and the newly married Mr. and Mrs. Palmer, walked out of the Church hand in hand into their rented black limousine.

The reception was held in a nearby hall, which was surprisingly large.

"Um Tony. Shouldn't you do the speech now," Abby poked him at the table. The team was all seated on a large round table, drinking champagne.

"Yeah," now his nerves were getting the better of him. Usually, Tony was a very people-person, so delivering a speech wasn't really a hard thing for him. But now, because of his plan, he was fidgety and sweaty – a clear sign of his nervousness.

He rose from his seat, and champagne glass in hand, walked onto the dance floor, so that everybody could see him.

Clinking his glass, he began, "Um…can I have your attention please?"

The hall went silent, and Palmer smiled at him, motioning him to begin.

"Firstly, I would like to congratulate the newly married couple." Everybody clapped, and then Tony continued. "About 7 years ago, when I first met the shy autopsy gremlin Jimmy at work, I would have never thought he would have married such a beauty"

This earned a few laughs from the audience.

"But, over the years, Palmer and I have become close friends, and me, as well as our whole team have got to know him better. What I see Jimmy and Breena as today is"

He looked over at Ziva and met her eyes, "Soul mates" Her expression suddenly changed into disbelief. She couldn't believe Tony had remembered that.

"Soul mates, I think, are people who are brought together because they are meant to be together," he continued to look at her earnestly, occasionally shifting his gaze so that people wouldn't start to ask questions.

"Soul mates are created through many bonds. Friendship. Trust. And loyalty. Jimmy and Breena share all of these bonds, which is why, today, we are celebrating their marriage."

Gibbs gave Tony a supporting nod, before he continued. "Now, if you want advice Jimmy, on a good marriage, I wouldn't come to me if I was you… or Gibbs" All of team Gibbs, except Ziva laughed.

"But, all I can say is that any relationship is created through love, and if you continue to share love between you, your relationship will move forward. If you continue to trust each other and be loyal to each other, I am sure your marriage will be a success."

This earned an 'aww' from Abby.

"So, I wish both of you luck in your marriage, and happiness for the future," He finished. The hall was filled with the sounds of people clapping, and as Tony came back to take his seat, Ducky and McGee patted his shoulder and Palmer gave him an appreciative smile.

"That was really sweet Tony," Abby hugged him.

"Thanks Abbs," he smiled, and sat back down next to Ziva, who just kept staring at him in disbelief.

She didn't really know how she felt. Maybe, confused was the word to describe it. Yes, she was confused at why Tony brought up the soul mates thing. He kept looking at her in that speech, and she couldn't understand if he was talking to her, or if it was just a coincidence. Gibbs voice swam in the back of her head, _"No such thing as a coincidence" _

She also felt a strong wave of guilt hit her. She had to talk to him. She wanted to talk to him. Firstly, she wanted to apologise about last Saturday. She had crossed a line which she shouldn't have. She had hurt him, worse than she had hurt herself. Tony was her partner, her friend. He had been there through thick and thin for her. He had supported her, and she had accused him. They needed to talk, and to sort things out, because the guilt was eating her alive.

Tony could feel Ziva's eyes burn a hole in his shoulder, but when he glanced at her, he realised she was deep in thought. He prayed that he had done the right thing.

He had another opportunity to come, because his plan was only partly executed till now. He hoped that she would talk to him.

**Did you like it? The next chapter is half written so far, and because I am going away for 3 days, it will be published on Sunday :D Please please drop a review on your way out xx**


	12. May I have this dance?

**Right, so as promised, this is the next chapter! There is more McAbby in this, like the last chapter :D But there is also a lot of Tiva… so enjoy and please review! **

Ziva sat alone at the table as she watched Jimmy and Breena as well as the whole of team Gibbs on the dance floor. McGee was dancing with Emma (who much to Abby's annoyance was a surprisingly good dancer), while Gibbs and Ducky were dancing with women from Breena's family. Obviously, the woman Gibbs had his arm wrapped around was a red-head and Ducky seemed to be having fun twirling a woman who seemed to be at least 15 years younger than him. Ziva chuckled as she saw the two men. Then she saw Abby and Tony dancing together. Abby, who had been annoyed that McGee had not asked her to dance, was asked by Tony to cheer her up. Ziva smiled at Tony's kindness. He really did have a big heart somewhere in there.

On the dance floor, Tony gave Abby one final twirl as the song finished. To say he noticed Ziva looking at him, would be an understatement. He could _feel _her staring at him.

"Tony, you should just ask her," Abby pointed out, seeing Tony staring at Ziva. The next song began playing. It was a slow song - perfect for a couple dance.

Tony hadn't realised how obvious he looked. "You think she'll say yes?" he asked Abby.

"If she wants to, then she'll say yes…." She stated, and then smiled, "And I think she does."

"Mm," Tony said, trying to gather the courage. Since when did he have difficulty in asking a girl to dance?

"Besides, I think she got the message from your speech," Abby nudged.

"That obvious, huh?" he smiled at her.

"Well, I figured it out somewhere between the soul mates and friendship, and loyalty, and trust stuff. Yeah, it was that obvious!" she laughed.

"Ok, I'll ask her," he said finally after taking a long breath. He and Abby made their way off the dance floor. Abby pretended to walk off to get a drink, although her champagne glass was still half-full on the table, besides Ziva's.

"Where did Abby go?" Ziva asked Tony as he walked up to her.

"Uh, I think she went to get a drink," Ziva could tell he was lying. Maybe it was because of the fact that she could ALWAYS tell when he was lying, or the fact that Abby's drink was next to hers.

"Oh-kay," Ziva replied, obviously not buying it.

"Hey, um…" Tony began fidgeting with his hands, rubbing them together, "do you want to… um, dance?"

For a second, Ziva looked unsure. What was she going to say? But then she realised that she owed him that much.

"Um, ok" she replied, getting up, and holding his hand as he lead the way back onto the dance floor.

He pulled her closer, something she looked slightly uncomfortable about at the beginning, but then started to like. She told herself that her mind couldn't do this to her again, but she really couldn't stop herself.

His arm found its way to her back, and hers to his neck. As they began moving to the slow beat, he looked down into her eyes, while hers seemed to avoid his gaze. She simply stared straight at his suit, trying to remain calm.

Tony leaned down towards her ear, and whispered, "You look really beautiful, Ziva".

The feel of his breath on her ear and neck sent goose bumps down her neck. Her stomach flipped when she realised exactly how close they were.

"You already told me," she reminded him.

"Just thought I should say it again," he smiled down at her, and this time, she did look into his eyes.

After a long moment, Tony broke the silence, "I think everybody liked my speech" he stated. "I mean Ducky and Abby and McGee, even Gibbs told me it was good," he smiled.

She knew what he was trying to get at.

"Did you like it?" he asked

She took a deep breath and chose her words carefully, "It was very…interesting"

Tony could tell she knew what he was talking about, and decided to push, "Well, some of the credit goes to you. You know, about the soul mates stuff" he twirled her around, but she froze when she could see where this was going.

Tony however, pulled her closer to him, even closer than before – if that was even possible. There was no gap left between them, and it was definitely crossing that imaginary line.

"Tony..." Ziva whispered. She was interrupted by Tony who placed his index finger on her lips to stop her from talking. His actions were much like last week, except this time, his finger was replaced by words, and not his lips.

"We should talk about it" he spoke to her gently.

She thought about it for a minute, "Yes, we should," she agreed. "You are right... but please not here, not now," she begged. The last thing she knew both of them wanted was to create a scene in front of everybody.

"Tonight. Promise me," he asked.

"Tonight," she agreed. With that last word, the song finished, but he still held her close for a minute, making sure she was being serious. Making sure that he wasn't dreaming this whole situation.

And she was being serious. Because she knew she couldn't run from this. She could no longer run from the truth which was eating her alive. Firstly, she wanted to apologize to him. And then, she wanted **show** him that she trusted him. She no longer wanted to be living a lie. She wanted to stop pretending.

It was hard for her to admit. Ziva's father had always told her one thing, and that was that emotions were a weakness. She had stood by this everyday in her life. But she was tired. Everybody got tired at one point in their life. Ziva no longer saw any sense in her father's words. She had emotions – she was a person. And it was not like she was going to show her emotions to a stranger.

Tony was her partner – maybe (probably) even more than that. Every day for the past 6 years, he had her back, and she had his. They fit perfectly together. They just clicked. She loved spending nearly all of the day with him. No matter how annoying he got at times with his juvenile jokes and pranks, his goofy smile, his ability to relate **every** (and she meant **every**) situation to a movie or _Magnum _she couldn't stop herself from falling head over heels in love with him.

Ziva's thoughts were interrupted by a smiling Abby coughing beside them. Tony immediately let go of her waist, and looked down at his feet embarrassed.

Abby started giggling and Ziva began to blush.

"Um, Abby. It's not what it looks like," Ziva defended.

"And what does it look like?" Abby replied sneakily, still laughing. It was quite a scene to see two people still glued together quite a while after the slow dance had finished and the next remix had begun.

"Excuse me," Tony made his swift exit – completely embarrassed. He went over to McGee, who was now getting him and Emma drinks.

"Do you want to get a drink Abby," Ziva and Abby walked back to their table, and Ziva was trying her best to change the topic.

"Oh, don't try to change the subject, Agent David" Abby laughed, sitting back down at the table. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out what was going on there."

When Ziva didn't reply, Abby continued, crossing her legs, "He is a good guy, Ziva," her tone was serious, and she looked her friend in the eye while she spoke.

"I know, Abby. But…" how was she going to explain it to her if she didn't even know what was holding her back? "But, it might not work out" she explained, a slight hint of fear lacing her voice.

"You'll never know if you don't try." Abby replied. The line was so cliché, she knew. But Ziva needed to hear it. "You might regret it later, or you might not. But to know, you have to try. Because…" her eyes began looking behind Ziva, to where McGee was standing, laughing and chatting with Emma and Tony, "you might not get your chance again," she spoke sadly, regretfully.

Ziva didn't need to turn around to see what Abby was looking at – she knew. Ziva extended her hand, and placed it on Abby's knee – a sign of comfort and support.

"I do not believe that you can ever be too late for something. Everybody gets second chances," she explained. "I am going to talk to Tony," she assured. "But it is not too late if you want to talk to McGee either." She smiled at Abby, and then got up to go to Gibbs, who was calling them as it was time to cut the cake.

Abby was left in her own thoughts. Maybe she could gather her courage to talk to McGee, like Ziva had gathered hers to talk to Tony.

Certainly tonight would be a very interesting evening for Ziva. In a weird way, she looked forward to it because she would not have to hide anymore. But there was obviously a bigger part of her which was dreading this 'talk' and one which just wanted to get it over and done with.

**Ok, so the next chapter is being written and has a lot of talking between Tony and Ziva. It will be up in soon: D please drop a review on your way out. **


	13. A fairy tale

**Thanks for waiting, this is the next chapter :D Writing it has been really fun, and I think it is my favourite chapter so far :D enjoy :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or any of the characters. **

"We should get going," Tony tapped Ziva's shoulder from behind her. It was the end of a long, exciting, and fun reception. Most of the guests had left by now, and from the team, remained only Tony and Ziva. Tony had to stay longer than everybody else because he was the Best man. So naturally, the time for his departure came with Jimmy's extended family.

Ziva turned around from her conversation with Breena. The two seemed to be getting on quite well, something which pleased the happy Jimmy very much.

"Yes" she nodded in agreement to Tony's suggestion. She turned back around to Jimmy and Breena, "Thanks a lot Jimmy. The reception was great. Congratulations again," she smiled at Palmer. "And hope to see you soon," she now smiled at her new friend Breena.

"Thank you Ziva," Breena smiled back. "Thanks Tony, the speech was great," she acknowledged Tony who was standing behind Ziva.

"No problem. Enjoy your honeymoon," he winked at Palmer who let out a nervous laugh.

The two departed and walked outside to Tony's car, which was parked close by. When they were seated, and Tony had been driving for quite a while, Ziva finally broke the silence.

"Breena told me that they are going to Florida for their honeymoon," she spoke facing Tony.

"Hah! Imagine Palmer in a bathing suit!" Immediately Tony and Ziva pictured the same thing, and were definitely grossed out.

"Eww. Ok, scratch that" Tony made a grossed out face, earning a laugh from Ziva.

"Scratch that? Scratch what?" Ziva was confused at the simple expression.

"It's a figure of speech. It means 'forget about it' Zi-vah!" he explained patiently. "How long have you been living here?" he questioned mockingly.

Ziva laughed sarcastically, "Long enough. But 'scratch that' makes no sense at all. What I don't understand is why people can't say anything simply. I mean, what is the need to…."

"Ziva…," Tony interrupted. God, her rambling could get really annoying at times.

"…use these weird… what do you call it… Abbreviations!" she suddenly exclaimed, completely ignoring Tony.

"Ziva," he laughed, "You're rambling, AGAIN!"

"You seem to have a big problem with my talking," she noted.

"Only when you are rambling," he explained, turning a corner and entering the freeway.

"Where are we going?" Ziva asked, confused. She had been too busy talking to realise that this was not the way back to her apartment.

"It's a surprise," Tony explained, beaming.

"Surprise?" Ziva questioned hesitantly.

"A 'surprise' Ziva, is an action which is done without the other person knowing," Tony was doing his best to annoy her, "so that when the person finds out…."

"Yes, I know what a surprise is!" Ziva exclaimed interrupting him. "Now you are rambling." She pointed out. She let out a sigh, before continuing, "Tony, where are we going? This is quite far out of DC" she saw the sign boards beside the roads. They were at least a good 8-9 miles out of the city."

"Wait and see. I'll think you'll like it," he smiled.

"Fine." She admitted defeat. "But we better get there soon"

Neither one of them had forgotten about their scheduled 'talk' this evening. But it would come, Ziva knew, when it was time.

(Insert break)

"Here, put this over your eyes," Tony un-did his black tie and handed it to Ziva. They had just parked the car near Tony's 'surprise' place and she was following him.

"I am not putting that on!" she argued. "God knows where that has been!" she exclaimed, laughing.

"It won't be a surprise Ziva if you don't put that on," he explained impatiently. "Come on…. Please?" Tony made his best puppy dog face, pouting his lower lip and holding his hands together pleadingly.

Ziva let out a laugh, and couldn't help but fall for his attempt of an innocent face. "Fine" she sighed. She took the tie from his hand, wrapped it around her eyes and tied a knot behind her head.

"No peeking," Tony reminded.

"Fine, but make sure I do not fall," she instructed – or rather demanded.

"If you insist," and with that, Tony slipped his hand into hers, guiding the way. Night had now fallen over them, and the sky was completely black. It was a full moon night and a few stars were twinkling in the sky.

"Ok, there are a few steps here," Tony guided. Ziva's grip on his right hand increased, as Tony guided her up the steps. Soon they had walked across the car park and were standing in Tony's 'surprise'. By the tickle of grass on her feet, Ziva could tell that they were no longer standing on pavement.

When they stopped, Tony announced, "We're here", and reached for the back of the black blindfold. He carefully un-knotted it, and let the silk material fall into his hands, so that Ziva could see what was in front of her.

In front of Ziva was the most beautiful park that she had ever seen. A small wooden bench stood in front of them. The bench was surrounded by trees – an old weeping willow on one side, and a tall oak tree on the other. A long, green creeper spanned the whole length of the oak tree, while the willow tree leaned slightly across the bench. Underneath the oak, a variety of flowers had been planted – from red and yellow roses to tall sunflowers, elegant marigolds and tall yellow tulips.

From the willow, hung five or six Chinese lanterns. One was yellow, another red. The third was purple and so on… From them came a small amount of light and the rest of the light came from a small lamp post beside the bench. It was a typical black post, a rather old design.

But what captured Ziva's eye immediately was the secluded small pond in the corner. Water lilies covered the surface, and green water plants could be seen growing underneath.

Lost for words, Ziva just stood a minute or two admiring the beauty of the space around her, while Tony looked at her (still wearing that beautiful blue dress which she had worn to the wedding). Her smile meant so much to him, and seeing her stare in utter admiration was a sight worth seeing and remembering. He could not describe the way her face glowed – even in the darkness. Neither could he describe the way her eyes widened when the blindfold fell off her face and into his hands.

"So, I guess you like it" It was more a statement than a question. He put his hand on her shoulder, drawing her out of her trance-like state.

"It's… so beautiful," she admired, "I do not think I have ever seen anything as peaceful and, tranquil as this," she stared at the colorful lanterns on the willow tree.

He slipped his hand back into hers, and beckoned her over to the wooden bench. They sat down besides each other, Ziva still looking around to spot things she hadn't noticed at first. From the new angle on the bench, she saw a long wooden swing hanging off a wide branch on the willow tree. _Almost like a fairy tale _she thought. The place was so... mystical, that it seemed unreal. Almost as if it were an illustration out of a child's story book.

"This place," Tony began in a soft tone, "it has something about it, I guess."

Ziva looked back at him and smiled in agreement.

Tony continued, "I used to come here, when I was a kid," he remembered those memories in his head. "The first time, I had come here, I was eleven, I think. Maybe twelve," The time was so long ago that he couldn't remember exactly. "I had a fight, with Senior" It was like that explained everything to Ziva. She could see the slight fall in his face when he remembered those memories.

She wasn't really expecting him to say more on the topic, however, he continued, "He, he used to date these women. They were, years and years younger than him. I hated him 'cos he was trying to replace my mum. I hated the fact that he acted like she never existed, like she had never been a part of our lives." He looked into her eyes to see understanding and support. He knew that Ziva would never show sympathy or pity, because she knew he hated it when people did that.

Ziva placed her hand from her lap onto his hand, resting on his thigh. "Fathers, they make mistakes Tony. Sometimes, it needs a lot of, understanding to forgive them," she half-stuttered the words out, speaking from personal experience.

He slightly nodded in agreement. "This place," he got back on the topic, because the other memories were too painful to talk about, for both of them. "It helps me think. It helped me think things out then, and it helps me think things out now."

He took a deep breath, and then let out a sigh, "I think, that… we need to sort things out," he looked at her earnestly.

It wasn't hard for her to get the message. Tony had brought her here, to the place where he always found solace and peace, to talk. To sort things out. To untangle the mess that they had created. She knew the ball was in her court now, and she had some speaking and explaining to do. A lot of it.

**So this is it! The 'talk' will be in the next chapter :D please leave me a review, they really make me happy :D**


	14. I'll always be there for you

**This is it readers! This is the long awaited talk! Thanks again for reviews, although you probably don't care what I am saying right now because you just want to read it! Enjoy :D**

_He took a deep breath, and then let out a sigh, "I think, that… we need to sort things out," he looked at her earnestly. _

_It wasn't hard for her to get the message. Tony had brought her here, to the place where he always found solace and peace, to talk. To sort things out. To untangle the mess that they had created. She knew the ball was in her court now, and she had some speaking and explaining to do. A lot of it. _

When Ziva finally spoke, her voice was pleading and desperate. Desperate for forgiveness. "I am, sorry, Tony," she said slowly, keeping her gaze fixed on their hands, which were wrapped around each other in Tony's lap. "It was wrong of me to speak to you like that last Saturday," she admitted.

Tony could see the honesty and the desperation for forgiveness in her eyes. Slowly, he brought his hand up to her cheek, tilting her head so that she was forced to look at him.

"Hey," he rubbed his thumb reassuringly on her cheek, so that she would meet his gaze. "It's a sign of weakness," he reminded her the all too famous Gibbs rule.

Ziva just looked silently at him for a few seconds. Why was he being so nice? She had said those awful things to him, she had seen the hurt in his eyes, and he was telling her that she shouldn't say sorry?

"It needed to be said," she replied after a lot of thinking.

He could see the guilt in her eyes, and he really didn't like it. He just wanted to know the answer to one question. "Why?"

That one word could have been asking about anything and everything. But to both of them, it only meant one thing. _Why did you do it? _

Ziva let out a deep breath, and mentally kicked herself for being so scared. She had to say this, now. She had a golden opportunity, and she wasn't going for it like she had hoped.

"I… I was, scared," she finally admitted. For Ziva, saying those three words was hell. Admitting to someone that she was afraid was equivalent to losing all her pride. She was Ziva, the assassin. The Mossad-trained ninja. All her life, she was taught by her father, and by Mossad to be strong. To stand up to things, and to never be afraid. To never let the emotion of fear enter her mind.

Tony definitely understood what she was saying. And he could finally understand why she had been so hesitant in telling him. He could see the shame clouding her eyes. The shame of admitting fear. When he had first met Ziva, he would have laughed his heart out if she had told him that she was scared of something. After all, who would suspect that Ziva, a person who could kill someone 18 different ways using a paperclip and murder someone with a credit card would ever have fear running through her veins? But Tony knew her better than just 'anyone'. He had occasionally seen the fear in her eyes, no matter how hard she had tried to hide it behind her walls. After all, he had this uncanny ability to read her like no one else.

Tony was almost certain that Ziva would not say anymore on the topic. After all, how long could she go on talking about the emotion which she was highly-trained to ignore?

To both Tony and Ziva's surprise, Ziva said more. She just couldn't stop herself, and in that moment she truly felt that she could open up to him now. She owed him the truth.

"All my life, I have been told not to show fear to anyone. But that does not mean I do not have any, yes?" she tried to explain. She had a hint of sadness on her face. It suggested that there had been no one close enough to her who she could have shared this with. Or, there was no one she could have trusted.

"It is not fear of death that I have," she half laughed. "I have come close to it too many times to be afraid anymore," her mind began involuntarily recapping old accounts. "It is, fear, of losing the people around me, who I trust. Who I," Ziva stopped herself in time before she uttered the word 'love'. "Who I, care for," she finished.

Tony did not need to be a trained investigator to know what she was going to say, before she stopped herself in time. He really did not have any form of reply for what she was letting him in too. Really, all he wanted to do was to listen, process and understand. So he let her continue.

"After Tali's death, after my mother's death," she took a wavy breath, and Tony could see the water in her eyes, and the slight tremble of her lower lip, "after seeing people who mean so much to me, leave me… I fear Tony, that," she took another breath and held the tears back, "that, you," she emphasized, "or Gibbs, or McGee, Abby and Ducky, you might not be there one day. You are the people who mean so much to me, and I can't afford to lose you," A tear finally escaped down her cheek, but neither made the effort to wipe it away. Tony was paralyzed beside Ziva. He really understood what she was saying.

Ziva sniffed a little, but she had the energy and the will to continue, "I tell myself to love you as much as I should, like you are my brother, and no more, Tony, because-because I do not want to lose you." finally, she had said it. Finally, she had told him.

Tony was lost for words. Really, what would he say? He understood Ziva's pain, so how would he convince her that loving him more than she should would be ok?

"I understand, Ziva," he nodded, "but," God, how was he going to say this? "There will be someone, sometime in your life who you will have to love more than you should. You can't be afraid of what has to happen in your life, neither can you ignore it," he explained softly.

"I have had too many broken relationships. I do not ever think there will be someone like that," she replied sadly.

"Maybe," Tony said, "you are missing what is right in front of you, because you are scared of accepting it."

Ziva had to admit, everything he was saying was true. She scooped up his arm, and moved closer to him, to snuggle her head on his shoulder for comfort and reassurance. His arm made its way behind her and around her shoulder, holding her tightly. "I don't want to lose you Tony," she repeated in a whisper.

"You won't" he assured her, looking down to see her form snuggled close to him. Tony used his free hand to tilt her chin upwards, so she would look at him. He bent down and whispered in to her ear, "I'll always be there for you, Ziva."

Ziva couldn't help but stare at him for a few minutes, while a few tears escaped her eyes. All she was thinking about was how nice and honest he was being. All she was thinking about was the big heart he had. All she was thinking about, was how much he must love her, to be saying this to her.

But as Tony's newly made promise of always being there for her kept replaying in her head and echoing in her ears, she couldn't help but explain her fear to him.

"Will you Tony? Will you always be there, for me?" she asked sadly. "If we," she motioned between herself and him, "If we do this, and, and it does not work, will you always be there for me?" she voiced her fear with begging eyes. Eyes that explained the reason to her reluctance.

Tony understood what she meant completely. He understood that if they took this… risk… this chance, and it did not work out in the end, for some reason or the other, would they remain on the terms which they had been with each other for so many years? If it ended, he thought, would they be able to trust each other, and to have each other's back every day?

But then, Tony decided, he would not let it end badly – not with Ziva at least. He knew Ziva better than anybody he had ever known. Yes, it felt weird to think of it like that. But when two people saw each other every day for the last couple of years they grew accustomed to each other. They knew each other's likes, dislikes and their habits.

"I will not let it end badly," he promised and assured, "if it does end." he emphasised, "And," he took a breath, "if for some reason we decide that it is not working, I promise you, Ziva, that I will always be there for you. You are a friend, Ziva, before anything else, and you will always be," he smiled as the last words came out, and he could see the corners of her lips turn upwards, and a genuine, thankful smile form on her lips too.

She couldn't find any words to express her thanks, and her relief. In a way, she felt weird and undeserving of so much love and loyalty. Some part of her still couldn't believe that it was nobody other than her goofy movie-loving partner sitting in front of her.

She could only find one way of showing several emotions at a time to him – trust, gratitude, loyalty, happiness and last but not least, love. She moved closer to him and leaned towards him. When he placed his arm around her lower back and pulled her even closer, she placed a warm hand on his cheek, and whispered those three words that both of them had been waiting to hear for so long.

"I love you, Tony," she whispered against his lips.

He sealed the space between them in response, engulfing her in a small, sweet kiss on the lips. When he pulled back, Tony rested his forehead against hers.

"I love you, so much Ziva. More than you can imagine," he whispered to her. However, his eyes spoke with more emphasis than his words.

She kissed him again with all the passion and energy that she had, and he kissed her back too with the same passion. Because this was the beginning of something new. Something which was good, and something which they would face together. Something which was definitely going to have its obstacles, but they were both determined to make it work. And besides, Tony would always be there for her, and she, for him.

The End.

**So, that's it! It feels great to be at the end of my first fan fic :D I have really enjoyed writing this, and putting so much effort into it :D If you liked it, and even if you didn't, please leave one last review on your way out. I can't tell you how happy it will make me to see your support till the end :D**

**See you soon, my lovely readers :D:D Tivaandmcabby xx**


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